Gottman Couples Therapy
What you Want in Couples Therapy
Hope: Change and Repair are always possible
Tools: Learn strategies to make real changes together at home
Expertise: One of the best, most experienced Gottman couples therapists
Research-based: Effective Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Inspiration: Transform your relationship and reach for your dreams
Learn More about Couples Therapy
Three Comprehensive Areas of Change
You'll describe to me where you're stuck in your relationship, your history together, and what your goals and dreams are going forward. I will help you in three main areas to:
1) Increase and rebuild the friendship, good feelings, and mutual respect between the two of you;
2) Improve your conflict regulation skills on problems you can solve, help you understand and talk about the difficult problems you are really stuck on, and decrease harmful, painful interactions; and
3) Create or rediscover the shared meanings, values and dreams between you that make a relationship rich and fulfilling.
How we'll Get Started
We'll begin with a complete relationship assessment spanning three "double" sessions. As I get to know you, you have time to think, reflect, and perhaps see your relationship through fresh eyes.
I'll meet with the two of you together, as well as each of you alone once, and you'll complete a comprehensive set of questionnaires.
We wrap up the evaluation phase with another double session with the two of you, in which we discuss your strengths, the areas of your relationship that need work, and what a plan for therapy would include. Assuming we're on the same page, we'd then begin therapy.
Intentional, Mindful Connection
My greatest enjoyment and fulfillment in therapy is working hard with couples on the path towards intentional, mindful connection with one another. I look forward to assisting you in developing a relationship that nourishes and enriches your life journey, and witnessing the experience of your growth together.
When the two of you are able to truly be there for each other, your relationship can become a springboard to reaching for your higher goals in life. When you know your partner has your back, you're even more free and empowered to discover your ultimate paths and journeys.
Gottman Couples Therapy
The Gottman Method was developed by John Gottman, Ph.D., after his many years of research with couples. He has learned the differences between couples with successful relationships, and couples whose relationships end in divorce, or are unhappy for years. It is a practical method, helping couples to improve their friendship, conflict regulation skills, and build deeper meaning between them. This builds increased intimacy, affection and collaboration in small steps, which leads to greater satisfaction over time.
Couples Wait an average of six years, according to research, after they first notice their relationship is developing problems, before seeking the help of a couples therapist. It's never too late, but the sooner you start, the more effective therapy can be.
The Therapy Environment
My office is a safe place to rebuild trust, to reconnect with your partner, and to craft a relationship that sustains the two of you. While I sometimes listen quietly while the two of you discuss an issue, I will jump in and interrupt if conversations begin to build and shift into arguments. In my office, and at home, you'll learn how to stop before arguments escalate into unpleasant conflicts, and how to return to a better discussion when you're both ready.
Dr. Sarah Rattray
As a Certified Gottman Therapist since 2000 and one of the original group of therapists in the Gottman Institute, I have received advanced training from John and Julie Gottman, and have added their philosophies to my many years of experience and other training in working with couples. In John Gottman's over 30 years of research with couples he has discovered what really works in a relationship. Working with you I will be objective and effective in helping you build a strong and fulfilling relationship.
Learn more about Dr. Sarah Rattray
What Clients Say
We're getting along very well. We're spending more time together in the evenings, taking baby steps. I'm being conscious of us trying to listen to each other, and being considerate and helpful. We are patient if something is not to our liking and we work it through. We're not quick to take a negative tone. We were more cooperative, which I appreciated. The kids felt it too!
In the past we didn’t wind down enough for talking or being nice. We’re more self-aware because of these conversations in our sessions. We’re more aware that we’re trying to do that. External stresses don’t have to flood into our relationship. Because of therapy, these doors are opening to us.
Thank you for telling us we were in fight or flight. The suggestions were helpful, to do the things that relax you. I feel much better physically and emotionally which is a big deal for me. We've had very nice conversations. We are spending more time together and talking at the end of the day about how our days went and how we were feeling.
It was useful to go through the questionnaires. It reinforced the feeling that I'm very sure I want to be in the relationship. We have a lot of fundamental agreement and lots of no-problem areas. If there is something I can do to make my partner happier and more comfortable and more connected, I feel like there’s lots of potential, and I really want that. I want my partner to feel an equal, and contribute equally as parents.